Posted on March 4, 2014
I’ve always been very skinny and underweight. It’s been a huge struggle for me to gain weight and keep it on. My average weight for about two years has been around 83 pounds. When I get admitted I am usually around 78 pounds, which mind you, is extremely low. Most of the time when I am in the hospital I gain a couple of pounds and I get to about 85 pounds. When I go home after gaining some weight, my jeans are tight. (Not too tight, but just the perfect fit).
Here’s the crazy part. The most I have ever weighed was 92 pounds, when I was 15, before I got a feeding tube, because I was trying to prove to the doctor that I didn’t need one. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It was over thanksgiving break, so I stayed up all day and all night eating and stuffing my face. I lost it pretty quickly too. 🙁
The crazy thing is, I got weighed a couple of days ago, and it said I was 90 pounds. I was astounded! I made them weigh me again just to be sure. I couldn’t believe it. I was wearing my jeans and they weren’t tight at all. I didn’t grow taller, so that doesn’t explain it. Where was it all going!?
Today, right now, I got weighed again. Guess what? I am 95 pounds according to the scale! Once again, I made them re-weigh me. Again it came back as 43.4 kilos. This is crazy. I am so happy! I might have a shot at having a semi-normal looking body, as opposed to the alien-like body I had a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know how I am gaining this weight, considering I haven’t really been eating this much. I just hope this trend of weight gain can keep going for a couple of months. This is amazing… It’s like magic.
Most girls want to lose weight, and have that stupid “thighs gap” they all envy. Well I have that thigh gap and it’s nothing special. In fact, I hate it! I wish I had curves, or at least a butt. I have the boobs, but no booty. Most girls get really excited when they weigh themselves and find that they are 5 pounds lighter than a last month. They cringe at the thought of gaining 10 pounds, while I on the other hand hope and pray for those extra 10 pounds. It’s as hard, if not harder, to force yourself to eat to gain weight for me, as it is for other girls to not eat and try to lose weight.
Basically, what I am saying is, I am a pretty happy girl right now. I just hope I can keep this weight on. Oh, and by the way, I might get out on monday! I might be out for my 18th birthday! Woohoo! What a day of good news.