Posted on January 9, 2014

Transplant is a touchy subject for everyone involved. Families may not want bits and pieces of their loved one shipped off to who knows where. A dying person in need of an organ may not want to take one, even though most likely their entire family is wishing that they choose to live. The thing is, though, it’s not choosing to live or die, it’s choosing how you live and die.

If a doctor told you that you needed a heart transplant, or you would die in the next couple of months you would take the heart, right? That’s exactly what I thought when I was told that my lungs needed to be replaced. I said “Yes yes most definitely!” And it is so easy to say that when you aren’t really in the situation, and the fact is, I wasn’t in this situation then. As time rolled on and I got closer and closer to needing to really make the decision it became harder.

On one hand I have doctors telling me I need it, I have family and friends wishing that I take it, and a whole society of people in the CF world that are rooting for me to get new lungs. I have the choice to live longer, to live better. But, on the other hand I have my mind telling me that things are completely different than months ago. I’m sicker, and I’m seeing things differently. I could take lungs, go through an extreme curriery and then live life with a good breath, but a lot of restrictions. Also, lung transplants ALWAYS fail, it’s just a matter of how long after it is.

People born blind aren’t missing anything, because that’s all they know and they have never seen before. When someone lives their whole life as a seeing person and then they lose their sight it’s completely different. They know what they are missing so it’s harder.

If I got lungs and knew what its like to breathe like a normal person, that would be great, but then when it gets taken away its a harder fall. I would know what I’m missing then.

Another thing you have to think about is the doctors are telling you that you’re gonna die… but you will die anyways. Hell, it could be tomorrow! What if I don’t want to live my life with a bunch of restrictions? What if I want to live whatever time I have left with bad lungs, but a happy life?

Ahh, so much to consider.

2 Replies to "Transplant"

  • Katietoo
    February 23, 2014 (9:55 am)

    I’m amazed and impressed by your maturity. You seem to have a more clear idea of what you need than many adults. While saying this, I realize that you may not have had much choice about growing up so quickly with all you face. I hope you have more good days than bad… Wishing you sunshine.

  • Rebecca Hernandez
    February 23, 2014 (5:11 pm)

    Hi honey…

    Do they not doing Living donor transplants anymore? I am a mother of four sons who back in 2003 donated a lobe of my left lung to a CF patient here in our town of Porterville. Jerrod did live 6 more years after the surgery. His sister who also had CF never got the chance at the transplant, was just wondering if it was because they didnt do them anymore??
    Keep fighting sweetie!